1) A man is walking with a penguin. A policeman asks,: "where are you taking that penguin?" The man replies, "To the zoo." Next day, the policeman sees the man and the penguin again. "Didn't you say you were taking that penguin to the zoo?" The man replies, "That was yesterday. Today, it wants to go to the cinema."
2) Neighbor A: "Could you please get rid of your dog? My daughter had to stop singing because your dog howled (barked). Neighbor B: "I'm sorry, but your daughter started first!"
3) How does an elephant go up a tree? It sits on a plant and waits for it to grow. How does an elephant come down? It sits on a leaf and waits for fall.
4. A fly goes in the desert and he is tired. Suddenly a bull is coming. The fly says to the bull, "Take me on your back". The bull agrees. They go along. Suddenly the fly says, "Look at the dust we are making".
5. A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smokers in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. "If you do a commercial for us," the executive explained, "we'll pay you $10 000".
It's a deal, said the smoker. "When do I start?"
"How about 10 a.m. tomorrow?"
"Can't do it then, son - I never quit coughing till noon!"
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